Forewarning: This might be a bit jumbled, as what I'm trying to get out is not exactly clear even in my head.

So, I've been thinking about value lately. Human value, to be exact. And I'm rather confused. It's something I think about when the phrase "better than" pops up in my mind. Like when I look around the bus and think about the people there as opposed to the LMU grads who are accountants working for one of the big 4 and live in lofts in downtown Los Angeles. What makes them "better than" the crowd on the bus? What makes them more worthy of being a friend or an ally?

I recently happened upon the Facebook Application "Owned!" which allows users to put themselves on the market and see how much they/their frends are worth. YB Normyl (excellent pseudonym) posted on the wall: "Where's the BONUS money? It says buy now and get $100000 bonus then there's no bonus, or give a human and get 50000 then nothing. Maybe it's time to go back to FFS." And Steve Simpson from Knoxville, TN said, "I own 15 photos.And yet,it still says.I own no one.But on other people's photos.It shows below them,the people they own.Why is that?Another issue the makers of this application,should look into fixing." Like these tech issues are the most pervasive issue at play. YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO OWN YOUR FRIENDS. You place value on their lives. OK, it's not the silly game that I am taking issue with. The words "value, "worth," and "loyalty" have just been really big roadblocks for me to get over (i.e. where your loyalties lie depends on who you think is more deserving of them, who is valuable enough to be worthy of your time).

I guess I just find it extremely interesting that the phrase "better than" can exist in terms of people. You are probably thinking, she's just making some big life realization via some hippy-dippy-trippy shit. I'm not even quite sure what I am trying to get across. I guess it's just the bus teaching me yet another life lesson. I'll see an older Mexican woman carrying her lunch in a plastic grocery bag, certainly off to a day of housekeeping or nannying. I'll study her face intently and examine her hands, the hands of someone who has worked hard her whole life. She's not beautiful, like the beautiful blonde Australian couple with soft hands and a beautiful blonde daughter sitting across from me. So is it beauty that defines worth? The Mexican woman must surely have better life stories, and a family I would love to get to know, more so than the couple. But then why do I think that? Why do I think the beautiful blonde couple has a boring family with few struggles and no fun stories? Does strength equal worth?

Bah. I haven't a clue.

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